motherhood, mental health & mormonism

Counterfeit: a Poem

Blue Mom 2 by Chidi Okoye

Blue Mom 2 by Chidi Okoye

I wrote this, inspired by the prompt from the A Mother Here contest, but without any real intention of submitting it. I thought I’d share it here instead! Go check out the winners, they’re magnificent.


She’s in there, somewhere
‘neath 18 years of not enough
time, money, food, mom.
18 years of second in command.
Somewhere, there’s a woman realized
who laughs,
smiles, even,
but all that’s left is a role,
a placeholder.
And I, the blockade
wait for her smiles,
hear only the wanting
echoed back.

So I read her diaries,
search her drawers to find her.
I asked my dad once,
but her story is counterfeit
in his mouth.

She’s up there,
somewhere blockaded;
the illiterate bearers of Her story
ravaged, slain, enslaved,
and with them,
their Mother as well.
Half the world’s religion, gone.

So I search – am I the blockade?
They say she smiles on us, but
I come up with only the double wanting,
not sure what she’d look like
if I even found her.


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